Without Giving Away Too Many Details
This morning’s meeting is in my calendar as “Boring Meeting”.
Are we going to the same meeting? Do you have ‘Waste of My Time’ as a follow up meeting later today?
There is no escape.
Let’s be honest, my friend… no one wins here. I think we’re both in an email doom spiral. Good to know we’re in this together.
We’re gonna have to team up and find someone to trip.
Anyone out there want some emails? Huh? They’re fresh, and so good! There’s glitter or cookies in it for you. And, um, some post-its? Is that doing it for you?
MMLTD, how do you do it?
I don’t do conference calls often. I’m stuck on one now.
No one knows what a mute button is.
What is that shuffling/scratchy sound? Are you rubbing the phone on your face? Jesus, you need to shave. Wait, is that a guy or a girl? Are you just furry?
Ugh. This is ridiculous.
If it’s a web-based conference call, most software lets the host mute individual attendees. That is a freaking fantastic feature. If you’re the host, you need to know how to do that.
If it’s not a webmeeting, or if you’re not the host, just brace for impact.
- If possible, turn the volume down on your phone so the ambient face noises don’t overwhelm you with a need to punch. Most voices should carry well enough to be heard
- Focus on reading (and rereading) any materials that were sent out for the conference call.
- If it is a webmeeting and someone is showing a powerpoint where they just slapped all their content on a slide versus carefully sculpting bullet points that foster discussion, just read the powerpoint with your phone volume turned all the way down.
If you’re presenting… well, muscle through. Sometimes you need to just make sure you are as prepared for the content as can be, and try not to suffer fools as you speak.
After the call, apply alcohol liberally.